Journeys With Jani

Super Bowl Halftime and the Great American Hobby of Losing Our Minds

February 8, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love, The Sitcom Called “Mary Jane”

I already know this is going to make somebody mad. That’s fine. I say what I say. I write what I write. And honestly… I could say a whole lot more about a whole lot more, but I love you ALL too much to go full scorched earth on a Sunday.

Also, before we get into the halftime show… let me say this plain:

I don’t care if you’re white, black, tan, purple, brown, blue, have horns, show up with a tail, or sparkle in the sun like a vampire in a teen movie. People are people. We all need to feel loved, feel seen, feel important to someone.

Now… if you tell me you’re a cat and you use a litter box… I’m not going to be mean to you, but I am going to quietly think, “Bless it… that’s a bit nuts.” That’s me. But even then… you’re still a human being and you still deserve decency. Respect doesn’t require agreement. It requires a decent soul… and apparently that’s getting rare.

Now. Every year the Super Bowl halftime show does exactly what it was hired to do… entertain, sell ads, push the boundaries just a bit, then watch America unravel like a Walmart cart with one bad wheel.

This year, the halftime performer is Bad Bunny. And like clockwork, people immediately made it into a whole thing.

The first loud opinion I saw floating around was: “He’s not even American!” Some of y’all will argue with a map and still feel confident. Ummm. Puerto Rico is America. Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory and U.S. citizens don’t need a passport to travel between the mainland and Puerto Rico.

So if your argument starts with “He’s not American” you’re not making a point… you’re just announcing you skipped geography, history and reading comprehension, then showed up anyway like it’s group work.

And here’s the part that makes my eye twitch:

🇵🇷 A whole lot of folks don’t mind Puerto Rico when it’s convenient.

🇵🇷 Y’all don’t mind vacationing there.

🇵🇷 Y’all don’t mind those turquoise waters and Old San Juan charm.

🇵🇷 Y’all don’t mind Puerto Rican food showing up at the cookout like you the recipe.

🇵🇷 Y’all don’t mind Puerto Rican actors, athletes, culture, music when it’s packaged up neat for your entertainment.

It’s funny how “America” gets real selective when it’s time to share the stage. But the second Puerto Rico is center stage and speaking Spanish at full volume… suddenly we’ve got a crisis on our hands.

That’s not patriotism. That’s discomfort wearing a flag as a cape.

“Is it the music?” Totally fair. Taste is personal. If you don’t like Bad Bunny’s music, okay. Nobody is going to drag you into the living room by your ankles and make you dance. You can mute it, refill your queso, check the score, live your best life.

But what’s not fair is going straight to F THAT and acting like the halftime show personally threatened your bloodline. Because the halftime show isn’t a citizenship test. It isn’t a theology quiz. It isn’t a gender panic drill. It’s a performance in the middle of football.

“Is it the dress thing?” Some folks are also mad about the dress thing like fabric on a man is a national emergency. Quick reminder: a whole lot of you loved Braveheart. Men in kilts. Skirts. Fabric tubes of freedom. Same family.

And if we’re gonna drag the Bible into it like we always do when we’re mad at something modern… the men back then weren’t out here in Wranglers and Ariats. They wore robes. Flow-y garments. A dress-adjacent situation. If cloth ruins your masculinity, honey, the cloth isn’t the problem.

Let’s talk about what America happily loves from Puerto Rico

Because this is where the hypocrisy starts sweating.

🇵🇷 America loves Puerto Rico’s rum. Casa Bacardí is in Puerto Rico and calls itself the world’s largest rum distillery.

🇵🇷 America loves Puerto Rico’s coffee too.

🇵🇷 America loves the beaches, the music, the food, the vibe.

🇵🇷 And America loves what Puerto Rico produces that most people never think about. Puerto Rico’s economy is a major life sciences manufacturing and export powerhouse.

So yes… please tell me more about how Puerto Rico “isn’t America” while America is benefiting from Puerto Rico in ways you don’t even notice.

The part I actually care about

🇺🇸 This isn’t really about a halftime show. It never is.

🇺🇸 This is about how fast we’ve trained ourselves to turn every human being into a political argument instead of… a human being.

🇺🇸 You can have values without using them like a weapon.

🇺🇸 We don’t have to agree on music.

🇺🇸 We don’t have to like the same things.

🇺🇸 We don’t have to clap at the same moments.

But we do have to stop acting like someone else existing loudly is an attack. Because that’s what this is, really.

A Puerto Rican artist. On the biggest stage. With the whole world watching. And for some people, the problem isn’t the beat. The problem is the visibility. So maybe this year we try something radical: less outrage, more humanity.

❤️ Let people be people.

❤️ Let cultures be celebrated without a meltdown.

❤️ Let a halftime show be a halftime show.

Anyway… enjoy the game. Or don’t. But try being kind while you’re at it.

Journeys With Jani thoughts for the night:

🤓 You can dislike a song without disliking a whole group of people.

🎤 You can skip a performance w/o turning it into a moral crisis.

❤️‍🔥 You can be passionate without being cruel.

Now excuse me while I start making appetizers for the game and the show… mostly because I want to see what everybody is going to pretend they’re traumatized by next.

XOXO, Jani

1 comment on Super Bowl Halftime and the Great American Hobby of Losing Our Minds
Shelby’s Annual Exam…or The Day She Survived The Unthinkable

February 7, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love, Pet Tails!, Southern Stories, The Sitcom Called “Mary Jane”

And that is the look… Princess Shelby

My way to deal? Humor. Dark. Funny. Humor. Let’s Talk About It…

Today was a big morning at Dr. Moore’s office…one of those mornings where my heart is doing that little stutter-step thing before I even make it to lunch.

Cash had his first chemo treatment.

There are no clever words for that part. I’m grateful, I’m scared, I’m hopeful, I’m tired & I’m trying to stay steady for him. When Greg brought him home, my boy was exhausted…that deep, heavy kind of worn out that makes you want to scoop them up & carry the weight for them. Except Cash is not a small boy so you know, figuratively.

And then there was Shelby.

Because never mind that Cash is the one dealing with the big stuff…Shelby had her Canine Annual. You know the drill…vaccines, tests, the usual “let’s make sure you’re still perfect” maintenance package.

Greg walks in with both of them. Cash is quiet & wiped out. Shelby acted like she’d been transported to a medieval torture chamber & barely made it out alive.

I swear I could hear her little dramatic voice the second she hit the doorway… “Mom! They DID THINGS! They put something in my hiney…they cut me…they poked me…SHOT me…took my blood like VAMPIRES…put stuff in my bod trying to tell me it was for my own good…gave me a mani-pedi I DID NOT ASK FOR…held me down like I was some kind of animal…shoved a pill down my throat & I am NOT A DRUG ADDICT…AND THEY DID ALL OF THIS TO ME WITHOUT EVEN TAKING ME TO DINNER AND A MOVIE FIRST! SO I AM NEBER EBER EBER GOING BACK!”

Y’all 😑🤨

Cash and Shelby

Cash is the one walking through the hard part & Shelby is over here clutching her pearls like a Victorian widow, sighing like she’s been personally wronged by the entire medical community.

And now she has declared she will be going to bed for four days to recover…because clearly she has survived something no one has ever survived before.

So tonight, this is what life looks like in our house:

Cash gets the soft love…quiet voices, gentle hands, all the comfort we can pour into him. The kind of love that says “I’m right here” without needing a thousand words.

Shelby gets to be a princess on her pillow, performing her one-dog show titled Tragedy, Betrayal and Toe Touching.

And Bean will supervise all of it like the furry dictator he is…because someone has to keep standards high around here.

Bean, The Master of …Everything. Clearly.

If you need us, we’ll be in the living room…one tired cancer-fighting boy, one dramatic princess recovering from “the horrors,” plus me & Greg…trying to hold it all together.

Because that’s what we do…we love them through it. Even when one of them is absolutely convinced the vet owes her dinner & a movie.

XOXO, Jani

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Powerball Jackpot Winner!

February 5, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love, The Sitcom Called “Mary Jane”

Journeys With Jani… Let’s Talk About It…

Let’s just pretend for a minute that last year you hit the Powerball jackpot. The big one. The $1.817 billion one.

And because we’re feeling bold & a little spicy, you take the full payout. No payments. No waiting. No spread it out & be responsible BS. You want your money now, like an Amazon package with Prime shipping.

Then reality shows up in khakis & a bow tie. Because after taxes & what not, you’re left with… about $493 to $526 million.

Yes. They take that much. It’s basically a fundraiser at that point. 🙄

Now… let me tell you what would happen next if I were the one holding the winning ticket.

Not in a -new money, loud money- kind of way. More in a -I’m about to handle my life like a CEO and you will not stress me out- kind of way.

First of all… I’d disappear. Quietly. Not forever. Just long enough to breathe without everybody & their cousin suddenly remembering my name. Because the first thing I’m buying isn’t a yacht. It’s silence.

I’m renting a beautiful, peaceful, nobody-can-find-me little place for a minute. Somewhere with comfy sheets, good coffee & a view that makes me feel like I’ve been personally hugged by the universe.

And I’m bringing a notebook. Because if I’m about to have half a billion dollars, I’m not winging it with vibes and prayers.

Second… I’m assembling my Money Avengers.

Before I tell anybody anything, I’m hiring:

✏️ a financial advisor who doesn’t talk to me like I’m five

✏️ a tax attorney who like’s ruining wealthy people’s day

✏️ a security person who gives “don’t even try it” energy

✏️ and honestly… probably an assistant, because my brain already works overtime & we are not doing that while rich

And they will all know one thing about me immediately:

🤨 I’m Southern.

🤨 I’m kind ( I swear to Tiny Jesus I am!).

🤨 And I am not the one (refer to Tiny Jesus).

Third… my people are getting set up.

Let me be clear. I’m not about to start buying ten mansions & a diamond-covered golf cart. But I am going to make sure my family is secure in a way that lets everyone breathe.

The kind of secure where:

❤️ nobody is one emergency away from panic

❤️ kids & grandkids are protected …the people I love can live without that constant low-grade stress humming in the background

And I’d do it quietly too. No announcements. No Facebook posts. No -look what I did!- Just… handled.

Fourth… the pets are getting upgraded like royalty.

Because yes, I love my people. But my animals?

Those are my babies with fur & attitude.

They would have:

🐶 the best vet care on earth (actually they already do).

🐶 the best food

🐈‍⬛ a yard that looks like a resort & if I’m being honest, probably a little pet helper situation because I’m not trying to be stressed & rich at the same time

Fifth… then I’m going full travel goblin.

This is where my soul lights up. Because if you give me half a billion dollars, I’m not sitting at home thinking about someday.

Someday is today.

There will be:

✈️ bucket list trips with the whole crew -DELTA ONE!

✈️ romantic trips where nobody bothers us

✈️ I need sunshine or I’m going to bite someone trips

✈️ at least one trip that exists purely for the story, the photos & the ridiculousness of it all

And the funniest part? I’d still be planning travel for other people too. Because I’m built like that. I just wouldn’t be doing it with stress. I’d be doing it from a terrace in Tuscany or a cafe in Paris.

Sixth… generosity becomes a lifestyle.

Not performative. Not attention-seeking. Not look at me being a good person.

More like:

💌 paying off somebody’s medical bill & never telling a soul

💌 blessing a single mom who needs a car

💌 funding a scholarship helping the right people in the right ways

💌 donating to anything in Bartow County that needs it!

Because I’m soft at the core. I just keep it behind a steel door with a keypad.

And finally… I’d still be me. I’d still be sassy. Still be funny. Still side-eye the world. I’d just be doing it from a better seat.

And honestly? That might be the best part.

————————————-

Now, tell me …If you won that kind of money, what’s the very first thing you’d do after you stopped ugly-crying into a paper towel?

XOXO, Jani

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Dirty Laundry Playlist: The Songs We Sang Way Too Loud as Kids

February 4, 2026

Music, The Sitcom Called “Mary Jane”

Journeys With Jani… Let’s Talk About It…

This morning on the way to work I heard an oldie & I was singing right along like I had a house payment due & a record deal waiting…

“I’m having daydreams about night things, in the middle of the afternoon.”

Same exact enthusiasm I had as a kid, too. Which is hilarious… & mildly concerning.

Because why were we allowed to sing this stuff? Not whisper it. Not hum it quietly while staring at the floor. No ma’am. We sang it with chest. We sang it in the car, in the living room, in the kitchen, in front of adults who absolutely knew what those lyrics meant.

And that, my friends, is the true mystery of the 70s & 80s.

So today we’re airing out the hamper. Here’s my Dirty Laundry List… a little trip through 1975 to 1987 featuring hit songs that were either outright explicit or full of those sneaky little innuendos that went right over our heads… while the grown folks pretended they didn’t hear a thing.

First, the song that started my whole spiral–

😮 Daydreams About Night Things (1975) – Ronnie Milsap

Written by John Schweers

Listen. The title alone is a whole situation. This is not about a nap. This is not about thinking of your vacation. This is “I’m at work but mentally I’m not at work” and Ronnie said it with a smile.

And as a child, I heard it and thought, “Cute! Daydreaming!”

Ma’am. No.

🤔 Category 1: The “Sounds Sweet Until You Think About It” Songs

These are the ones that felt harmless… until adulthood walked in, turned on the light & said WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL

😮 Afternoon Delight (1976) – Starland Vocal Band

Written by Bill Danoff

This song is the granddaddy of accidental childhood innocence. It’s upbeat, it’s catchy, it sounds like something you’d hear at a picnic… & then you grow up & realize it is absolutely not about a picnic.

😮 Ring My Bell (1979) – Anita Ward

Written by Frederick Knight

If you still believe this is about doorbells, I have some oceanfront property in Bartow County to sell you. It’s smooth, it’s flirty, it’s not subtle & we all danced anyway.

😮 You Sexy Thing (1975) – Hot Chocolate

Written by Errol Brown & Tony Wilson

This one wasn’t exactly hiding, but it had that disco glow that made it feel playful. Meanwhile, the message is basically: “Hello, you… yes you… you’re fine.”

🤔 Category 2: The “Not Even Trying to Hide It” Songs

These are the ones where the artist was like, “Here it is” & society just shrugged & bought the single.

😮 Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright) (1976) – Rod Stewart

Written by Rod Stewart

Rod was not leaving room for interpretation. He was not being poetic. He was being Rod.

😮 Da Ya Think I’m Sexy? (1978) – Rod Stewart

Written by Rod Stewart, Carmine Appice & Duane Hitchings

Also Rod. Again. The man stayed committed to a theme. And we stayed singing along like we were discussing algebra.

😮 Hot Stuff (1979) – Donna Summer

Written by Pete Bellotte, Harold Faltermeyer & Keith Forsey

Donna Summer was the queen of making grown-up songs sound like a party. This one is basically a confident request with a beat.

😮 Love to Love You Baby (1975) – Donna Summer

Written by Giorgio Moroder, Pete Bellotte & Donna Summer

🤔 Category 3: The “Rock Songs That Were Basically a Wink” Collection

Rock music in this era loved a metaphor. Sometimes the metaphor was subtle. Sometimes it hit you with a frying pan.

😮 Paradise by the Dashboard Light (1978) – Meat Loaf (featuring Ellen Foley)

Written by Jim Steinman

This is not a song. This is a whole cinematic experience about teenage hormones, promises, panic & consequences… with baseball play-by-play as the soundtrack. Iconic. Also, absolutely not something kids needed to be screaming in the backseat.

😮 Pour Some Sugar on Me (1987) – Def Leppard

Written by Joe Elliott, Mutt Lange, Phil Collen, Steve Clark & Rick Savage

An innuendo piñata. Every line. And yet the entire world, myself included, yelled it like it was a national anthem.

🤔 Category 4: The “1980s Said: We’re Doing This Now” Era

Somewhere in the early 80s, pop music got bold. And parents got tired.

😮 Physical (1981) – Olivia Newton-John

Written by Steve Kipner & Terry Shaddick

The sweet lady from Grease looked America in the face & said, “Let’s get physical.” And people lost their minds. Kids, meanwhile, were like, “This is fun!” Sure is, honey.

😮 Sexual Healing (1982) – Marvin Gaye

Written by Marvin Gaye, Odell Brown & David Ritz

This one is so smooth it should come with a warning label. Title is the plot. No surprises. Just vibes.

😮 Relax (1983) – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Written by Peter Gill, Holly Johnson, Brian Nash & Mark O’Toole

This song caused a whole uproar back then & somehow that only made everybody want it more. It’s bold, it’s explicit & it’s one of those “how was this on the radio” moments.

😮 Sugar Walls (1984) – Sheena Easton

Written by Prince (under the pseudonym Alexander Nevermind)

Prince said, “I will write it” & Sheena said, “I will sing it” & parents everywhere said, “Turn it off.” Naturally we turned it up.

😮 Darling Nikki (1984) – Prince

Written by Prince

Not a big radio single situation, but culturally it hit hard. This is one of those songs that had adults making angry phone calls & teenagers making mixtapes.

😮 Push It (1987) – Salt-N-Pepa

Written by Hurby Azor (and built around the “You Really Got Me” groove)

If you don’t hear the innuendo here, you are choosing peace. And I respect it. But yeah… it’s not about shoving furniture.

So what have we learned today?

We have learned that:

✏️ Our childhood playlists were wild

✏️ We had no idea

✏️ The adults absolutely knew

✏️Nobody stopped us

✏️We still know every word

And honestly? I wouldn’t trade it. These songs are time machines. I can hear one line & I’m back in a car with the radio too loud, feeling like life was big & bright & full of possibility… even if the lyrics were clearly written for somebody paying taxes …maybe in an adult movie!

So yes, I’m calling it exactly what it is: Dirty Laundry.

And I’m proudly hanging it up …dirty! Ready for tomorrow!

If you’ve got one I missed, tell me in the comments. The more “how were we allowed to sing this,” the better.

XOXO, Jani

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For What It’s Worth… It Still Hits

February 3, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love, Music

“Flower Power” – George Harris was an actor & beautiful human who lived in the Haight area of San Francisco. He was better known as “Hibiscus.”

Journeys With Jani… Let’s Talk About It…

I put on Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth” & I swear the world goes quiet for a second… not because the world is calm, but because this song has the kind of weight that makes you stop mid-task like you just heard your grandma say your full government name from the other room.

You know that tone.

It’s not background music. It’s a hand on your shoulder.

And what gets me is it never ages. It doesn’t feel like a classic. It doesn’t feel like a cute little throwback moment. It feels like a current event with a guitar line… which is honestly just rude. Because I would love for this song to be a history lesson. Something we used to do.

But no.

We don’t learn. We just rebrand the same mess & slap a new year on it like that makes it fresh. Same fear. Same power struggle. Same crowd energy. Different hairstyle, different platform, same human nonsense. Like a maddening amusement park ride… except nobody’s amused & the safety bar is apparently optional.

It opens with “Stop, hey, what’s that sound…” & that line is basically the feeling of looking up from your normal life & realizing something has shifted. The air is different. Folks are tense. Everybody’s got an edge. You can practically hear the collective nervous system humming like a refrigerator that’s about to die. Yes, collective nervous system. Sometimes. I can say smart things 😬

Anyway…

Here’s the part that always makes me tired in my soul… half the people don’t even know what started it anymore. They just know they’re mad, they’re right & somebody else is wrong. That’s it. That’s the whole résumé.

“There’s something happening here…”

Yes. There is.

And it’s usually the same thing: people getting dug in so deep they’d rather be right than be decent.

Then you get to the line that hits me every time… “Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

Because tell me that isn’t the soundtrack of the last several years.

Everybody’s talking. Nobody’s listening. Everybody’s performing like they’re auditioning for the role of Most Correct Person on the Internet. We don’t listen to understand, we listen to reload. We don’t ask questions, we gather ammo. And we call it being informed, which is precious 😑

And I’m not sitting over here acting like I’m above it. I’m a whole human being with a pulse and a Wi-Fi connection. I’ve had moments where I’m like, let me go ahead & close this app before I start acting out of character.

The song doesn’t feel like a lecture to me. It feels like a mirror. It’s describing what happens when people feel cornered, authority gets reactive, crowds get loud & fear starts driving the car. Jesus has definitely NOT taken the wheel!

And once fear takes the wheel, logic gets shoved in the backseat… if it even gets a seat. Sometimes logic gets thrown in the trunk with a spare tire & a granola bar.

That’s the pattern this song keeps dragging back into the light. Not the details… the pattern.

Tension builds. Folks pick teams. The volume goes up. Everybody’s watching everybody else like we’re in some kind of social cage match. Everybody’s convinced they’re the good guy. And then it stops being about the original issue & becomes about identity. The team of it. The if you don’t agree with me you’re the enemy of it.

That’s when it gets ugly.

Because once you stop seeing people as people & start seeing labels… you can justify just about anything. You can be cruel & call it conviction. You can be dismissive & call it truth. You can be arrogant & call it just being honest. And you can do all of it with a straight face like you’re morally superior… which might be my least favorite hobby we’ve collectively picked up.

And that’s when this song starts feeling less like music & more like a smoke alarm.

Not because everything is on fire every second… but because it always smells like smoke. Like we keep standing too close to the same match & acting surprised when we get burned.

So when I say this song never loses ground, I’m not being dramatic. I’m being honest. It never loses ground because we keep giving it new reasons to matter.

And I don’t have a neat little bow to tie on this. I’m not handing you a solution in a cute quote graphic. I’m just saying the quiet part out loud:

We keep repeating the cycle… because being mad is easier than being accountable. Being loud is easier than being thoughtful. Picking a team is easier than staying human.

But I’m trying. I want to be the kind of person who can hear the sound & pause. Who can step back long enough to ask, what is really happening here? before I get pulled into the noise.

Because if we don’t… we’ll just keep riding this same maddening ride, over & over, acting shocked every time it makes us sick.

If you don’t hear it yet… give it time. That sound always shows up.

XOXO, Jani

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Sensitive, Emotional, Reactive: My Nervous System Keeps Receipts… Let’s Talk About It.

January 27, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love

Have you ever had a friend or family member tell you you’re too sensitive?

Or too emotional.

Or too reactive.

I’ve been told all of the above.

And to be fair… it’s usually said to me when I’m actually in my feelings. So it’s not like I’m standing there calm as a Southern Sunday Afternoon & somebody just randomly decides I’m too much.

NO. I’M ALREADY IN IT!

But here’s the part that matters.

You’re too sensitive usually isn’t feedback. It’s a dismissal. It’s what people say when they don’t know what else to say, or they want my reaction to be the problem instead of the thing that sparked it. Because it’s easier to label someone than to look at what hurt them.

It’s easier to say you’re too emotional than to say I didn’t handle that well. It’s easier to frame your feelings as the issue than to admit someone crossed a line.

Now let’s talk about what happens in my brain when I hear those words…

My OCD brain does all the things. ALL THE THINGS.

😵‍💫 It replays the conversation like it’s a film study.

😵‍💫 It breaks down tone, timing, and facial expressions like I’m working a true crime case.

😵‍💫 It runs ten different meanings through a courtroom trial and somehow I still end up guilty.

And here’s the thing. You do not need OCD, CPTSD, anxiety, depression, or any other acronym that comes with an invisible baggage tag to understand this.

Sometimes it’s not a diagnosis. Sometimes it’s just being human… while carrying experiences that taught you to stay alert.

Because when you’ve lived through enough, your nervous system gets quick. It does not wait for proof. It reacts to patterns.

So when someone says you’re too sensitive, I want to ask them something simple…

Is it really necessary to ask me that?

No. Because we already know. Trust me… we know.

By middle age, it becomes a 50/50 gamble whether we even care by the time it hits our ears. We’ve learned what’s worth our energy & what isn’t. We’ve learned that some people do not want resolution. They want silence.

And I’m not reactive like I used to be. Time has tempered me.

But SOME days I am overly sensitive.

SOME days I am so “you can kiss my grits” that you see Jani, MJ, & Mary Jane within 60 seconds. IYKYK.

Emotions. I’m 56. I have muddled through some serious BS in my life.

A LOT OF BS. So yes, I’ll cry if I want to. I’ll feel what I feel. I’ll process it in real time. And if that makes someone uncomfortable, they are welcome to sit with that discomfort & reflect.

Because my feelings are not the enemy.

Dismissal is.

And to be fair… I have zero sensitivity for S-T-U-P-I-D.

XOXO,

Jani, MJ, Mary Jane

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The Great Parenting Plot Twist

January 24, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love, Kids

Let’s Talk About It… Every now & then Facebook does that thing where it drops a post into your feed that makes you think.

That’s what happened when Jennifer Carter’s post popped up. If you know her, you already know she’s smart & witty, but it’s her posts about her mom that get me. This one did what the best posts do… it planted a question & wouldn’t let go.

How did parenthood change you in ways you never imagined or even considered?

And before I could pretend I was too busy to feel things, I was already sitting there thinking about my own answers, my own fears, my own miracles… and the way the people who raised us didn’t know what was coming.

Because let’s be honest… some of us arrived as children like a surprise tornado with a bow on top.

Jennifer wrote about her poor little Christian mother probably imagining life with a sweet little girl, having no idea that little girl would wind up being… her. Surprise, ma’am.

And that right there is parenting.

❤️ Parenting doesn’t just add to your life

– It rearranges you.

– It challenges what you believe.

– It forces you to look at your own upbringing w/ fresh eyes.

– It teaches you patience you didn’t know you had.

– It exposes the parts of you that still need healing.

– It humbles you daily, sometimes hourly.

– Sometimes it makes you better.

– Sometimes it makes you tired.

Sometimes it makes you stare at the ceiling at 2:47am thinking, Who let me be in charge of other humans?

“I became a totally different person.”

One comment under Jennifer’s post said that & whew… yes.

Because parenthood doesn’t just give you children.

It gives you a brand-new emotional operating system… and no instruction manual.

Your kids challenge you every day.

And if you’re blessed enough to have grandkids, they’ll challenge you too, just with more snacks involved.

And somewhere in the middle of all of it, you catch yourself thinking about what you dreamed motherhood would be…& what it actually became.

One reply stopped me cold:

“I dreamed of people who would love me & cherish me. While I do have that, I’ve faced things that even my imagination could never have conjured.”

Because that’s the truth nobody prepares you for.

You can be loved beyond measure & still be brought to your knees by the weight of it.

You can have everything you prayed for & still be completely unprepared for the job.

Here’s mine: I prayed for a boy. Twice.

And I’m not joking.

God knew me & honored that prayer.

And then He handed me the kind of love I didn’t even have language for yet.

Having children allowed me to love in a way I could’ve never even come close to understanding without them. Being Jake & Jarrett’s mom has been the single greatest thing I will ever do… & even that sentence doesn’t fully cover it.

But my story has a sharp edge too.

Because my mother was not that mother. Not ever.

And because of that, there was a fear that lived quietly in the back of my mind for years:

What if I turn out like her?

I worried I wouldn’t know how to love the way I watched my friends’ moms love them. Like there was some missing part in me.

And then something happened.

I loved them.

Not perfectly. Not without mistakes. Not without learning the hard way sometimes.

But deeply. Fiercely. The kind of love that makes you protect and soften & grow.

And that’s when I learned something I’ll say until I’m old & loud:

❤️ Love is not inherited

– You can come from cold & still choose warmth.

– You can come from chaos & still build peace.

– You can come from broken & still create safe.

Parenthood doesn’t just change you because kids need you.

It changes you because you finally decide what ends with you.

– Motherhood makes you meet yourself.

– It drags your selfishness into the light.

– It forces you to apologize.

It teaches you that being right isn’t as important as being kind.

It makes you look at your own childhood & either repeat it… or rewrite it.

And maybe that’s the point.

– Maybe the point was never perfection.

– Maybe the point was to be changed.

🤗 To be stretched.

🤗 To love bigger than you knew you could.

🤗 To become someone your children can count on.

🤗 To break what needed breaking.

🤗 To build what you didn’t get.

And if you had a mother you can celebrate… love her out loud. Write it. Say it. Call her. Don’t assume you’ll always have the chance.

And if you didn’t?

Hear me clearly.

You can still become the kind of love you needed.

Because love isn’t inherited.

It’s chosen.

❤️ Let’s Talk About It…

How did parenthood change you in ways you never expected?

What did it bring out in you?

What did it heal in you?

What did it break and rebuild?

Tell me your plot twist.

XOXO, Jani

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When Everything Feels Personal, Part 3 of 3: Tiny Resets That Actually Help

January 21, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love

I’m not here to tell you to “just calm down.”

If I could just calm down, I would’ve done it already & we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

So here are a few tiny resets I’m using when I’m already fried… when my brain is spiraling & my body feels like a live wire.

1️⃣ Name It

“This is anxiety.”

Not truth. Not prophecy. Not a fact.

Naming it doesn’t erase it… but it stops it from running the whole show.

2️⃣ Get Out Of Your Head, Into Your Body

Your brain is yelling because your body is stressed.

Pick one:

🫠 cold water on your wrists

🫠 step outside for two minutes

🫠 unclench your jaw

🫠 drop your shoulders

🫠 10 slow breaths that you actually count

Nothing fancy. Just a signal to your body: we are not in danger.

3️⃣ Shrink The Moment

Ask: “What’s the next right thing?”

Not “fix my life.” Not “solve everything.”

Just… the next right thing.

Drink water. Reply to the email. Fold the towel. Take a shower. Sit in the sun.

4️⃣ Don’t Mind-Read

If you catch yourself assuming what someone meant…

Try this: “I might be guessing.”

Because you are. We all are.

5️⃣ Laugh If You Can

Sometimes laughter is a reset button.

Bean still looks like he’s making plans. That’s fine. At least somebody in this house has goals.

Closing

If you’re in a season where everything feels personal… I’m right there with you.

Let’s be gentle with ourselves. Let’s take the pressure off our own necks.

We don’t have to earn rest. We don’t have to earn peace.

We’re allowed to just be human.

This is Journeys With Jani… and today’s destination is “small steps count.”

XOXO, Jani

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When Everything Feels Personal, Part 2 of 3: Your Nervous System Isn’t Being Dramatic

January 20, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love

Let’s talk about why this happens… because it’s not just “being sensitive” or “overreacting.”

When anxiety or depression is hanging around, your nervous system gets jumpy. It starts scanning everything like it’s responsible for keeping you alive… because it thinks it is.

So your brain looks at neutral things & tries to assign meaning…

😮 A short text becomes rejection.

😮 A delayed reply becomes anger.

😮 A change in plans becomes abandonment.

Not because you’re weak… but because your system is running on high alert.

The Problem With High Alert

High alert is great if a bear is chasing you.

High alert is trash when you’re just trying to live a normal Tuesday.

Because when your body is in that mode, it’s not asking “Is this true?”

It’s asking “Is this safe?”

And if your brain decides it’s not safe, it starts building a case… fast.

The Lies My Brain Tells Me

Here are a few greatest hits from my personal anxiety playlist:

😵‍💫 “They’re mad at you.”

😵‍💫 “You’re annoying.”

😵‍💫 “You said the wrong thing.”

😵‍💫 “You’re falling behind.”

😵‍💫 “Everyone can tell you’re struggling.”

And the wild part? Those thoughts feel like facts while they’re happening.

A Tiny Shift That Helps

When I’m spiraling, I’m trying to swap the question.

Instead of “What did I do wrong?” I’m trying…

“What else could be true?”

🤔 Maybe they’re busy.

🤔 Maybe they’re tired.

🤔 Maybe their phone died.

🤔 Maybe they’re dealing with their own stuff.

🤔 Maybe it’s not about me.

A Little Permission Slip

If your nervous system is loud right now… you’re not broken.

You’re not weak.

You’re a human with a brain that’s trying to protect you… even when it’s doing a terrible job at it.

This is Journeys With Jani… and if you needed a reminder today that you’re not alone in this, consider this it.

XOXO, Jani

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When Everything Feels Personal, Part 1 of 3: Taking Everything Personally

January 19, 2026

Eat, Pray, Love

Some weeks don’t hit you like a wave… they hit you like a thousand tiny paper cuts.

Not the kind that make you bleed out… just the kind that sting enough to make you question your entire personality, your relationships and your ability to read the tone of a two word text message.

And that’s where I’ve been lately.

I’ve been moving along. Doing what needs doing. Handling life like I’m fine. But inside… I’ve felt tender. Like my emotional skin is sunburned and everything is rubbing against it.

The Olympics of Overthinking

Here’s how my brain has been operating lately…

🔴 I read a text wrong.

🤯 “What was that supposed to mean?”

🤔 Did they just use a period like a weapon?

🔴 Someone doesn’t choose the plan, the invite, the thing…

🤯 “What did I do wrong?”

🤔Was I annoying? Was I too much? Was I not enough?

🔴 Bean gives me the side-eye…

🤯 “Is Bean secretly plotting my death?”

😑 And listen… we all know the answer to that last one.

Cats are tiny fluffy mob bosses. They don’t need a reason.

But that’s the thing… when your nervous system is already on edge, everything feels like a message. Everything feels like feedback. Everything feels like proof.

My brain starts acting like it’s employed full time as a detective in a low budget crime show titled: What’s Wrong With Me Now?

When Everything Feels Like A Judgment

On the surface, I know I do this. I can tell myself, “You’re taking it personally. Stop.”

But subconscious me?

She’s convinced everybody’s judging.

She’s sitting in the background like a stressed out courtroom sketch artist, drawing conclusions with zero evidence & full confidence.

☠️ A pause.

☠️ A look.

☠️ A short reply.

☠️ A change of plans.

Suddenly my brain is writing a whole story about how I’m failing at being a person.

If You’re Here Too

If you’ve been taking everything personally lately… I see you.

If you’ve been doing fine on the outside but spiraling on the inside… I see you.

If your brain is making documentaries out of small moments… I see you.

Maybe the goal this week isn’t “get it all together.”

Maybe the goal is simple…

❤️ Be gentle.

❤️ Do what you can.

❤️ Let that be enough.

This is Journeys With Jani… where we travel sometimes, overthink often, and try to be human either way.

XOXO, Jani

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